The Difference Between Parents and Grandparents

You know there’s one word that summarizes the difference between a parent and a grandparent…EXPERIENCE.

It was the Pulitzer-prize winning author, Alex Haley, who wrote, “When an old person dies, it’s like a library burning.”

Oh, we don’t know all the answers or have a monopoly on the right ways to do things…but the mistakes and miracles that we’ve experienced in our lives can be a tremendous asset to our children and grandchildren.

The question I hear most often is, “Do kids really want to hear what their grandparents have to say?” Without question, YES!

The parents of a 14 year old girl came to me many years ago for help because their daughter was making some poor choices in friends and, as a result, was experiencing problems at school and in the community. “Brenda isn’t listening to us,” her Mom said. “We tell her that her friends are no good for her and she just goes out and gets into trouble with them anyway!” We punished her, grounded her, took away her iPod, and nothing seems to work.”

In my first meeting with Brenda, she spoke highly of her grandmother and said that her she was one of her heroes in life.

In the following meeting, Brenda’s grandmother began by telling her how much she loved her. Then she proceeded to share with her a very emotional story about a friend in high school that she had who betrayed her trust and caused her a lot of pain and needless suffering. You could hear a pin drop in the room as her grandmother told her that if she headed down the same path, that she too would most likely encounter similar pain and suffering.

Brenda’s grandmother only came to one session but as a result of her shared experience, I was able to work with Brenda and her parents and re-direct her choices in a much more positive direction.

What did Brenda’s grandmother begin to accomplish in one counseling session that her parents couldn’t accomplish in weeks and months of arguments and frustration?

Simple. She led the discussion with love and reason, and not punishment and restrictions. Most importantly, Brenda’s grandmother used her own experiences to paint a picture for her granddaughter, letting her see in her grandmother’s eyes and heart the pain that she would ultimately encounter and feel in her own heart if she didn’t make better life choices.

EXPERIENCE…it’s a gift that grandparents have in abundance. If you’re a grandparent reading this today, reach out and share your experiences with your grandkids….it’s one of the greatest blessings that you can give to them. And if you’re a parent whose hearing my message…then no matter where they are…. make your Mom’s and Dad’s and integral part of your children’s lives. 

Give your kids the legacy of experience, love, and reason that they’ll find in their Grandma and Grandpa.